The Ark Project

Hellllloooo, and it is time for my first troll project. Ark Productions I plan on posing as a rich mother wanting to make her daughter famous. As you already know the song "Friday" is probably the worst song ever produced, with horrible singing, bad editing and a 13 driving a freaking car. Heck no. But if you havent, jump on the internet troll train by watching below.

So let me begin with a back story. I will be posing as Mrs.Deveraux, a 45 year old married woman with a rich husband, and a starstruck daughter. heres the picture that im going to send her

Precious, isnt she?. No not really this is the victim of a double homicide in Mississippi. Man I hope this producer doesnt watch the news. Back to this website. She posts what kind of camera she uses and what not.

With words like "Cutting Edge", "Spectacular" and "Photoshop" woah stop right there. i am sold. Let me find you a picture of her "Cutting Edge" Camera.

Darn, pretty "Cutting Edge" I think that the Brady Bunch show had a better camera then this. This dinosaur is doing Rebecca Black nooo favors. What's even better is the fact of the Testimonials. I quote

          "Ainsley Kellar and ARK Productions provided People Working Cooperatively a top-notch, professional solution

 to our television marketing needs with lightening speed and beautiful craftsmanship.

                               Ainsley is not only an excellent videographer, but a wonderful storyteller

                                    who deeply cares about her clients. We've had so many positive comments

                         about her work, and easily recommend her for any video project."

Yeah crap. She probably was payed to insert those underlined words come on. Now back to the story. Janet.loves.her.princess@gmail.com will be fake email address i use. I will start my first email like this 

To: ainsley@arkproductions.com

Subject: Possible Pop-Star? 

Dear Ainsley Kellar, Let me introduce myself, I am Janet Deveraux married to Mark Deveraux. Our daughter is a very charming young lady and we were willing to see if you wanted to make our daughter a star!

She is 13, enjoys texting her friends, and driving me around with her learners permit! Yikes! She is definitely a charmer and is quite a good singer. I hope that we can become good friends in the production process, I saw your recent video "Friday" and I absolutely loved it! Money is no object, we want it to be perfect! Thanks again, Mrs. Deveraux :) 

Let the trolling begin. I hope to get an email accepting my offer. Check in Soon!

Blogging At School

Lols just figured out that Blogspot isnt blocked on our school network, so just giving you guys and update, I have robotics regional in mineapolis. So my teachers are pretty mad haha so bye.

Last Day Of Spring Break

The sun has finally come out on this nice spring break day. Just saw a commercial about texas and I totally forgot that Texas is touching water. That explains the beach in the commercial. Anyways, I made a sweet Asteroid Render in Blender3d 

Its a big file but what ever, its really easy, i had to do no modeling at all. The rock is just using a texture to make the actual shape of the Asteroid. Then i just ran some the picture through some compositing and BAM freaking huge space rock. 

Ap Euro Reading

So here I am reading my Ap Euro book about the social reforms of the 1800's and I am on edge waiting for the Russian part to pop up, but no the authors decided to put Russia at the end of the chapter...... 

Dear Facebook..

Hey there Facebook, I noticed your new layout and all but the thing that got me the most was this.

Now, to me this looks like Javana Massaged You, my cousin's friend from California would never do this, but still it is a very inappropriate message that Facebook that try to convey to our innocent minds. I do not want my friends on Facebook just suprise massaging me out of no where. Get real.

You guy know how you can have a group chat with like a fan page or whatnot? Of course you do. It would be funny if the group was like the "Masculine Bikers Of America" You see where this is going...

Also another GREAT feature about facebook is the ability to Sort your friends.

Note the use of the Group "People I Want To Talk To" and "Other" friends. this might seem shallow but its very effective at hiding from people you added from Anonymous chat rooms and other stuff like that. 

This technique can also be used to sort girls according to hotness by making groups "10" "9" "8" and so forth. But honestly I dont have enough time to sort everyone. Any besides the point, im not that heartless.

So Thanks again facebook for lending me your ear (ears?) because this is a very pressing issue.

Btw, I saw the Social Network, Mark Zuckerburg seems like a pretty mean guy but hey if he can buy your house and the surrounding states, I think that we should give him some credit.

Blaging from Bed

Helloooo There, im just Czeching in on the blag sitting in bed watching 2012 for the 4th time, while my laptop is setting everthing around it aflame, because i for got to close minecraft in the background, but oh well its fine. Have a good night/morning/night because its 12:14

Dear Japan.

Konichiwa, Hello. I am here to apologize to Japan for my last post containing a crudely drawn Japan being hit by an earthquake. This was very wrong of me. I watch the news and i have seen the devastation there. I hope that Japan gets better, and that every country chips in and helps out them in their time of need.

  Yes yes, but think of all the great things in Japan. LIKE NINTENDO!!!! OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THEM AND WHAT ABOUT THE 3DS?????? oh no this cannot happen, the first 3d portable gaming device, well except for actual toys but nvm, I hope everthing is ok.

Yeah it probably is. Nintendo is probably under 12 feet of water but we all know that she'll pull through. The 3DS is probably curled up in the corner on the top floor, shivering, wondering if he will be airlifted to America.

Sad images... But at least the footage from the 3DS will be sweet, because its in 3d. So Sorry again Japan, I hope you get well <3 Love Thomas Moll

Buffalo Wild Whings

Hello Again, after my little kite flying fiasco. My friend Max decided to invite me to Bufalo Wild Whings. Pretty awesome. I wussied out and got teriyaki wings while Max just had to get "Wild" wings and the flaming diarrhea that comes with it. This is a video of me playing Galaga furiously.

Yeah that was fun. 
But anyways you know that nasty poison oak i was talking about? yeah its in this next video. Good news its starting to get less gross but the bad news is that i itched it and its on the back of my hand now *silent clapping * yep but its all good I can still type!

Kite Flying and Falling

Hey there, It is me again I think its time in our semi-professional relationship to tell you guys that i have a hot neighbor. yep. On the IHS (International Hotness Scale) she is a solid 8.97345. Kite flying has been a recent hobby of mine, and crudely taping a camera to a kite works pretty well.

Yeah im taking freaking sub-orbital pictures. Like CIA crap. But anyways I planned to improve my rig so i could move the camera, and also with the kite so close to the camera it shook like some one holding a camera with the shakes, sitting on a washing machine, in Japan (during the earthquake). So the quality was pretty bad. But anyways...

             

So you get my point anyways, I improved my camera 7-fold and flew it, to no avail, it fell and broke the camera, but the even sadder thing is that it was my little sisters Hello Kitty camera... But hey that thing has great video! Here's a diagram of my "new" kite design.

This plan failed horribly... You see our neighbors are Indian, not like native american but like Slumdog millionaire Indian. They are incredibly friendly which has its ups and downs, so they walked across their yard into ours, I immediately tried to think of plans to get out of this awakward meeting, hopefully ending up with me not explaining that I thought their daughter was hot. At first I thought about faking a heart attack, no too hard.

But I guess they could call 911 and things could get hairy, but instead i just put on a innocent face and told them that i very much enjoy flying kites. Apparently back in India kite flying was related with some special tradition/holiday so they told me all about it and i tried to pretend that i was interested and being indian, they couldnt see through my mask. After this little pow-wow I pulled my kite back from low earth orbit, and hiked inside to check out the video.


Nothing. 


Abosolutely Nothing. I sat there. headshaking and in total disbelief.


The camera had wussied out and ran out of batteries before i even got the kite up to cruising altitude. No hot indian action for me. Well thats about it.

Poison Oak

Hey there guys, I have confirmed my case of poison oak... yey! while in Oklaboring i fell into some bushes outside of the hotel and sure enough, poision oak. Just to let you know Poison Oak WILL destroy your skin, kinda like SkyNet screwed up the whole world. Anyways just got back from Buffalo Wild Wings and a serious session of Galaga. Two quarters later my arm was pretty beat, and then i sat at the table quietly and ate my teriyaki wings like a wuss but just to let you guys know i DID eat one of the "wild" wings, not that big of a deal, although Max and Alec were whining the whole time. "Oh, My mouth burns" or "My tongue is bleeding" or "This is going to hurt when it comes out the other end!" All crybabies, geez take some horse laxatives and get over it. 


But Wait.


It takes the human body approx. 24 to digest food right?


No wrong, it cant be


Oh but yes it is Thomas. 


You see tomorrow is when we are having out Camp out At max and jim's house. soooo it might just get a little spicy.... 

11:04

My Dr.Pepper fueled computer fixing rampage has been pretty successful, ive finally uploaded all the drivas that i need. Im not really sure what to do.. but just blog and sweep the interwebs. I am contemplating Omegle Trolling but its WAY to early.

10:42

Heieoadfljt, that is my life now. I have drinken drank, 7 Dr.Peppers and the sugars kicking in. I fixed my tablet pc thats been broken for like eons, freaking eons thats like millions of years. this thing was running windows 95 , trying to compute a freaking dinosaur. Anyways i installed xp which clocks in around the mesopotamic period, so it should run fine. but the worst thing is trying to find and install all the frickin drivers. The tablet pen doesnt work, the wifi, ethernet, doesnt work either, it sucks. I have most of it all up to date and i am now currently installing LabView because i plan to program on it lols and since Labview is visual it should be the bomb.com anyways (note to self dont use that phrase) I will be back after a brief Dr.Pepper fueled bathroom break

Home Again

I am back home, blogging. I know html but the type that blogspot uses is a little funky so i'll stay away from that. I want to see my girlfriend Audrey really bad, but i guess school is only like 5 days away. I am currently trying to fix our Tablet Laptop so i can program on it but thats a work in progress. Its pretty windy so im probably going to test my *ahem* KITE ARIEL PHOTOGRAPHY RIG!!!! *fireworks* *cheering* basically i can take video at 200 plus altitudes. But the thing weighs a ton. so ill try that out. bye! Ill be back with video

Long Car Trips

          Dear America,

                This is my formal complaint against your road system. Its too big. way to big. why did you  
            guys
           have to buy the louisiana purchase? seriously, In Europe, you can drive across all of it in like 3        
           hours. Come on.
                                                                                                                      Sincerely, Thomas Moll
                                                                                                                                  Disgruntled Car rider.


          This is my life, stuck in a smelly car with a dog that has a recently fixed ACL and a little brother    
          who decided to play a huge game of basketball alone. It smells and the NiQuil I took is kicking in.
          But only as far as the clouded mind. (Lols Jedi Mind Trick) My cough is in full swing. and im        
          trying to blog. Back to my dog. Her name is Minie and she is a Pitbull (Lol Micheal Vick) / Boxer
          she recently tore her ACL but thats all fixed now. But when i walked out of the hotel to see her,
          she was wearing the Cone of Shame. Basically a fogged piece of plastic to keep her from biting at
          her fixed leg, as far as comedy goes she just about beats Daniel Tosh.

Eating has become problematic as she tried to eat but for some strange reason a magical force was preventing her from reaching it. I tried not to laugh as she plopped the cone over the bowl. I feel bad for her as the staples run up her leg like some frankenstein monster. I wonder if the vet put some bionic stuff in her leg to make her run faster... than the speed of light. Probably not because if they put some si-fi bionic dog leg in that she would try to run but her bionic leg would over power the rest and she would spin in a circle tearing a hole in the ground. Or the vet just fixed her ACl.

Sunshine

     Hey everyone, Im writing my 3 or fourth post today, but this ones different. Probably because im writing it from OUTSIDE the hotel. yeah i know, crazy. I tried to find the perfect position on the patio to have maximum sun on my back to warm me up but just enough of an angle so i can actually read my laptop screen. I brought my bass headphones out to listen to some deadmau5 but i probably look like a total loser because im plugged in outside. Hmmm, I see a big dirt mountain out in a field next to the hotel. Im contemplating leaving my little brother at the pool and climbing that thing. Whoops never mind, theres a big excavator on top, he could probably kill me with his big shovel.


       Sorry, Itunes Shuffled to some weird deadmau5 remix, brb.


       *Thomas Angrily Smashes The Next Button*




       Whew that was close, I hate listening to bad remixes :/


      So anyways back to this freaking huge dirt mountain, its big and i have reason to believe that it has a small colony of dwarfs living there. I can just imagine them living in tiny hobbit houses searching for Frodo or something. 


     Nah... Its probably just dirt from a worksite. But maybe if i could just climb it and just dig   maybe just a little on the backside of it to find remnants of a dwarf fortress (Clever Allusion to a DOS game)


      But most likely i will go back into the hotel room and curl up under the covers reading my god forsaken AP euro book. Thank god we dont have to annotate :/ but anyways its all interesting stuff, unlike American history, especially because i already know how the Americas came into existence. Have i told you about minecraft? well i believe that it is too soon in our professional blogger reader relationship to reveal that to you. but you'll probably google it after this post. 


    Anyways, i was walking in from the basketball courts and these two ladies were lookng at me while i was freesteping it down the side walk. But at least i actually like to go out side. 
Here is a video i made with a kite and a camera. pretty shaky but it contains music from castle in the sky. I personally enjoy going outside, but my laptop sadly does not. I sits there spinning its fans as fast as possible trying to get the gross "fresh" air out of its system. Coupled with the fact that the sun is melting the keyboard its pretty pissed, thats why im back inside "helping my mom" pack up our clothes. A.k.a. Im sitting here blogging and shes doing all the work. lolz.



    I am contemplating taking some NiQuil for our 5 hour trip back home. But then again ill probably crash in the car, because the main ingredient in NiQuil is like a date rape drug or something so you forget you had a cold. Well i gtg, see you later

Random Cd's

     It just so happens that the night that we were staying in StillWater, 
        
       <btdubs did you know that still water becomes stagnant and gross? and also mosquitos just love it to make sweet love and lay their tiny alien eggs in that kinda water. So just for the record when ever I say Stillwater, just think of an old tire filled with gross mosquito love water>  
   
      So back to Stillwater, ew, anyways there is a basket ball game, fun, not really, I dont understand why people actually pay to watch sweaty men run around and put a ball in a hoop. So obviously i avoided this event like mexicans avoid paying taxes. Bad metaphor but what ever, my backspace key doesnt work. We had a seat really close to the court, i begged him to go sit up in the highest row in the stadium. After some pestering he allowed me to go. 


       Sitting up in the highest row all i could think about was, how can humans be this loud when a spherical object intersects an orange circle. and also i thought about good places for tactical snipers to hide. After a  few minutes, i decided that the air ducts on the far side would suffice. I also found a cd in the trash, i hope to find some C.I.A crap on there or something. Im going to pop that in there for one sec. brb. Whislt angrily going through my coat i realize that Inception is still in my Macbook. and for some reason it wont let me eject it. Probably due to the classified nature of the cd i found. As I plugged in my head phones in case it was some weird transformers porn. I sat and waited.


    and waited....


    and waited...


    darn! it was a blank cd. Or was it? nah it was a boring cd. and it was a DVD! thats a lot of memory. im thinking about loading my bootlegged copy of windows 95 on it. so anyways that was a good waste of time. anyways back to the game btw you just lost it. I sat up in the top row in the darkest corner of the stadium, wearing sunglasses, I was a badass. Looking over the half full stands watching Harvard getting beat by OSU I decided to take a lap around the top of the stands.


      After discovering a balcony over looking the concessions, I decided to brush up on my people annoyance skills. I made a strange bird sound. One little girl turned around. not enough to satisfy my need to annoy. I made a whistle that sounded like a fire alarm. This was it. At first a man donning a large moustache swiveled around trying to find my sound. Then a small family of black people looked up at the ceiling trying to find this weird sound also. Soon everyone was trying to find that darned sound. This made me laugh, and everyone knows that you cant laugh and whistle at the same time. So it made this farting/chuckle/whistle. This broke the magic puppet strings i had on these poor strangers.
That was the high point of my night. Now here i am thinking of things to say. Well goodnight, the NyQuil i took for my cough is kicking in....
    

Oklaboring.

      Spring break, what is supposed to be the greatest 7 day period in a young mans life. but avast. Our dog has recently torn her ACL, which i thought only happened to football players but nevermind. Instead of paying money to get it fixed at home we drove to Stillwater, Oklahoma to get a cheaper price. Imagine being a dog and wondering if your owners are going to fix your leg but instead you have to walk around on it and then get locked in a cage for 4 hours and THEN get it fixed.

       We dropped her off at the dog hospital and our "vacation" was on. *I'm going to skip the next 12-18 hours* Boring. all of it but i plan to have another exciting post.

First Post yeh!

Hey there, I this is my first blog post, cool cool right? no wrong. jk Moving on, the name of my blog is an anecdote to a quantum physics. Anyways i should be working on my about page and what not. so stay tuned